Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens – A Vision of Paradise

If ever I have seen a vision of paradise, this is it. If I were immortal, this is where I would wish to wander for eternity.

The Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens spreads out over 47 acres between the California coastal villages of Mendocino and Ft. Bragg. Its climate of alternate sun and fog makes it a happy home for flora from all over the world.

Hills of heather, roses, dahlias, poppies and, in the spring, thousands of camellias and rhododendrons. You hike from the gardens to the coast past cacti and succulents, through a coastal forest with a rushing stream, past conifers and grasslands, as the roar of the ocean becomes louder.

Until last week, I hadn’t walked these paths in 25 year. Then I filmed them on fuzzy old videotape for the Redwood Empire Association. That did not bring out the colors and textures. Now, the gardens show their full, proud plumage in 4K video.

Now during COVID-19 restrictions, the gardens are open but advance reservations are required. But its worth the trouble.

 

Ask Your Doctor about SOHDD, Sense of Humor Deficit Disorder

I was really perplexed. Was I suffering from SOHDD? I think many my age do.

I know, its tough times: politics, COVID-19, sitting in a hard chair contemplating the lint in my naval, watching dust bunnies swirl about the floor, but SOHDD, Sense of Humor Deficit Disorder, previously known as Irony Deficiency Anemia?

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | Stitcher | TuneIn | iHeart Radio | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Deezer| Pandora

Holy Mother of Jehosaphat, certainly not me.

I didn’t understand. I obviously needed help.

But then I asked my doctor.

He recommended doctor recommended rediculin.

Rediculin, taken as directed, will LIFT your spirits.

Add laughs to your lethargy.

Certainly did mine. I am now finding my naval very funny, especially when there is a little fluff of cotton in it from my tattered underwear.

And the dust bunnies? They are dancing a Nuryev-like ballet.

I found some old Carrot Top routines on YouTube. Hilarous.

And Amazon just dropped off my order from the Acme Anvil Company. They dropped it from a helicopter.

I know, rediculin tastes kind of yuckky, but that’s the point: Nuyk, Nyuk, Nyuk.

A few recommenations: You should take it with food. SPAM works.

And have to stick with it for it to work. After a few days, your ribs start to tickle. Sometimes it does take a week or so of use to progress from droll to slapstick, but it is a journey worth taking.

If you read the label – the type is mouse turd small – there are some side effects.

You can do too far.

Pratfalls, for one thing.

You could be hit by a swinging ladder

…or a falling piano

…or bust a rib laughing.

Or you could be tempted to get in front of a train and start running.

About 5% of users develop Kwazy Wabbit Syndrome…curable with a gin and carrot juice Martini.

But do ask your doctor about rediculin. You won’t be sad that you did.

In rare instances it could make you die laughing.

Legendary San Francisco Radio Stations Fade Into The Fog but the Music of the Cable Cars Rings On

This is the end of life story of the legendary KABL 960 Radio in San Francisco, which took on a new life online long after it went off the airwaves, plus a recording of the San Francisco Cable Car Bell Ringing Contest it sponsored, including a virtuoso performance of of San Francisco by all time champ Carl Payne.

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | Stitcher | TuneIn | iHeart Radio | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Deezer| Pandora

Two legendary San Francisco radio stations faded off into the fog this week. Both 960 KABL and 1260 KYA  had existed as ghosts of their former selves for quite some time, streaming online, with international audiences. By the time you read this they may be already gone: https://kablradio.com/ and https://kyaradio.com/

The were brought back to life by David Jackson of the Bay Area Radio Museum and Hall of Fame, who ran the stations until now. But it was just too much work for a volunteer (I know, as I ran a streaming radio station for about seven years).

KYA 1260 was a legendary Top 40 rock and roll station that had its heyday in the 50’s through the 70’s, but switched to oldies and lighter easy rock fare under the call letters KOIT. The old 1260 AM took the route of many AM stations and went religious in 2007.

960 KABL evolved from a schmaltzy beautiful music format to an amalgam of non-rock pop music of the past sixty years, everything from The Living Strings to Aretha Franklin. Now it is broadcasting Bloomberg Radio.

I know a bit about it, as I was one of the voices of KABL-Radio, part time, for about 15 years.

 

Fowl Play in the Jungle – Chasing Chickens in Nepal

Fowl Play - Chasing Chickens in Nepal

A wild adventure in Nepal’s Chitwan jungle on a quest to film The Mother of All Chickens. Listen to the rumble of elephants, screeching birds and a snake charmer.

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | Stitcher | TuneIn | iHeart Radio | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Deezer| Pandora |

An excerpt from the Audio Book Tales of the Radio Traveler, by Russell Johnson, available on Audible.

I am in Nepal to celebrate my marriage and introduce my new bride Pat to a place I have come to love. I first came here for a cultural heritage conference and the last time on a project for the UN Development Programme. I don’t think she knows what she was getting into when she married me, that she would be spending her honeymoon mucking about the jungle on such a lumbering carriage and spending evenings picking leeches off of our ankles, with the parallel goal, this time, of photographing a chicken.

I am feeling my elephant this morning as it rumbles underneath me. On this cool, foggy morning, jungle sounds are tame. No cicada or cricket racket, they’ve taken the rest of the day off. Little sound except an occasional monkey screech or a short stanza from what Nepalis call the “brain fever” bird. It’s song starts with a middle-C whoop and, like a diva gone mad, sails up the scale in a frenetic arpeggio. Mostly, the feel of the sub-audible vibration of the elephant, the rustle of brush. A tiger, perhaps? Or a rhino? Or maybe it is the elusive jungle Red Jungle Fowl, a wildly colorful bird that is said to be the ancestor of the modern-day domestic chicken.

Red Jungle Fowl

This is not my first safari into Nepal’s Royal Chitwan National Park, on the border with India. I will never tire of returning to a place where I can stand next to a river in a steamy jungle watching rhinos bathe and gaze upon the snow-capped Himalaya in the distance; where I have seen the flash of a tiger in the brush, insects that look like lacquered jewelry, orchids, crocodiles sunning on riverbanks, termite mounds that look like the castles of demented fairies, and a vast buffet of birds – about three hundred species of them – one of which I wish to photograph.

So here I am, jungle junkie, headed out into the tropical tangle with a group of wide-eyed, camera-toting newcomers who seek their first glimpse of the wild rhino and, if lucky, the Royal Bengal Tiger.

My job is to film a chicken.

It is not that the wild jungle pheasant is scarce. It is just that it doesn’t sit still. On my last attempt all I captured were a few fleeting frames of a drab female. What I am seeking is a full plumage, testosterone-charged, ready-to-boogie male for a documentary I am doing titled “Chickens”. I had already interviewed an ornithologist at Cornell University, a professor of semiology who explained that the chicken was actually a vegetable, a cockfight manager in the Philippines,
and Dick Orkin, the creator and voice of Chicken Man, the 1960s spoof superhero radio serial. Now I was going in search of the primal source, the mother hen, the wild jungle fowl, a pheasant that has been established as being the biological forerunner of the common barnyard chicken.

Riding an elephant can be a jolt. But at least we aren’t trotting or galloping. Years ago I rode an express elephant, one enlisted in the service of point-to-point transportation rather than tourism. An elephant trot is guaranteed to rearrange your innards. An elephant gallop will make you backbone feel like a pile driver. Tourist elephants, while nothaving the suspension system of a Rolls, just stroll.

We ride past deeply rutted trees that tigers had used as scratching posts. Tigers and leopards had been spotted several times in the past week. They are not easy to see in the tall grass. Tigers are solitary creatures and a single one may command an area up to eight square miles.

“Scat,”whispers our mahout as he pointed a deposit next to a seriesof paw prints. I resist the temptation to collect a souvenir, fully knowing that might be my closest encounter with the elusive beast.

Our sure-footed elephant climbs down into a swamp. We are second in queue with a wide-angle view of the behind of the beast in front of us. A friend, who had served in the British Navy during World War II, with whom I traveled through this same jungle years earlier, said that elephants relieving themselves in the swamp were like battleships releasing depth charges.

“Rhinos!”
Our driver points.

“You lookin’ at me?”

It doesn’t take long to spot a rhino in these jungles. They, along with most other forms of wildlife, have been growing in number because of the environmental controls the government has placed on the park. Royal Chitwan was once a private game reserve where Nepal’s ruling Rana clan treated the British Royals to tiger hunts. Although hardly a noble endeavor, they did keep the area pristine as their own hunting preserve and it didn’t fall victim to the politics and land grabs.

The mother rhino looks curmudgeonly, like a scaly Margaret Thatcher. She snorts and grunts: “You had bloody well keep your distance”. The baby, however, manages to look cute. A ton of cute. We follow the pair as they plough through the elephant grass.

Elephants, thick-skinned though they are, are wary of rhinos. Several times I have sat on top of an elephant that has reared back when a rhino threatened to charge.

“Chicken,” shouts our mahout.

I reach for my camera and try to steady it. The elephant isn’t cooperating, however, turning in the wrong direction (I know as an seasoned elephant-back photographer, they always do this). I crane my neck until it cracks. The jungle fowl crosses the path and disappears into the grass. I get another shaky shot of some tail feathers.

Foiled again.

Back at the lodge, I shower. A couple of leech bites still bleed, leaving some trickles of red running down my leg. An obnoxious guest I had met earlier comes up to me with a spray can.

“Try this”. she says as she sprays some gunk on
my leg.

“Stop it!” I say, almost losing my temper at the assault, but easing back and taking a draw from my beer.

“It does stop the bleeding, doesn’t it?”

It takes several days for the goo to wear off my leg.

It is late afternoon and I spot some shapes at the corner of the paddock.

“Is it?” I squint. “It is”.

I pick up my camera, walk a few yards, get on the ground and start crawling, soldier-style, on my stomach up to a small group of jungle fowl. I aim my camera and make my capture. I had bagged, on video, the chicken from whence all chickens cometh.

Snake Charmer
Airport Greeter

We leave Chitwan for the tiny airport at Meghauli for a flight back to Kathmandu. I would have loved to drive the route as it cuts through deep canyons and passes through small villages, but we have a schedule to keep. A celebration in Kathmandu. Some old friends and us, the newlyweds. The King and Queen.

The first time I took this drive, in the early 90s, was just after a new road had been completed. I counted eight accidents along the way including a truck that had driven over a ravine, a motorcyclist lying motionless on the pavement next to his machine circled by a group of men who were just looking, and an abandoned VW van that sat in the middle of the road, squished like an accordion. I was told that drivers were not accustomed to speed and had no idea of the driving limits of a new, smooth road through the mountain passes.

Greeting us at the airport entrance is a snake charmer. I tip him a few rupees ensuring a safe flight.

We drive up to what looks like a movie back lot: a few benches, a free-standing wall with a doorway that simply leads to the other side of the wall. There is a field beyond with men playing football. We are instructed to sit down on the benches with our luggage. Then a man walks through the movie set door and asks us to line up with our bags. Another man runs out into field, which doubles as a runway, and cranks a World War II-vintage air raid siren. The soccer players clear the field and siren-man waves his arms shooing two cows away.

We hear the distant drone of an airplane engine.We walk through the doorway, the man takes our tickets and glances briefly at our luggage. Then we circle around theside of the movie set, back to our benches in the “lounge”. The Lumbini Airways prop plane bounces and sputters to a landing. Nearby Lumbini is the birthplace of Buddha and I was assuming that the Lord Buddha himself had blessed this two engine puddle-jumper. Up from our seats again and out the door.

We board. Pat flies on business regularly, she even took a few lessons in flight school, but is still a white-knuckled passenger. We both chug down a beer and she sinks her fingernails into my arm, as a tiger would a tree, as our plane lumbers down the field past an audience of footballers and insouciant cattle. The cockpit door swings open and we see the pilot impatiently tapping his feet. We grind higher, clearing some small mountains, over lush terraced farms and rivers, small villages, finally passing over the sprawling outlying slums of Kathmandu.

Russell Johnson is a writer living in Sonoma, California. He is author of the book and audio book Tales of the Radio Traveler and does a weekly podcast, Gone Astray – Russell Johnson available on iTunes, Spotify and most other podcast apps.

GONE ASTRAY - RUSSELL JOHNSON PODCAST

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | Stitcher | TuneIn | iHeart Radio | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Deezer| Pandora

FEATURED VIDEOS & PHOTOS